Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Henk Thinking Of Home

I've been thinking of home more than ever.

Everybody knows the Odyssey written by Homer about 3000 years ago. It is the classic story of the search to the well of happiness and enlightenment. The adventures are all traps and obstacles which we meet on our way to self-realization. During the voyage Odysseus loses all his former ideas of thinking to come back in the end with nothing.

Back in the western hemisphere I reflect about the past but also about the future, actually more about the future than the past because the past has been and -next- is the future. When you look at my geographical position I am more or less farthest away from “home”. But I feel home everywhere I am. Still “home” means something else. Like everybody I am on my way home. Lets forget -everybody- and focus on myself; I am on my way home.

Nothing you get for free. All you have to learn, you learn the hard way. You learn the way as a warrior girds himself for the fight. You need four arms; readiness, fear, respect and confidence. You make a big mistake when you do it otherwise. Because you are not sure if you can tell the story or correct it. With these four weapons you can never loose, because when you fight with the right arms every lost is only a lost game about which you cannot lament.

Dwelling too long with yourself, causes a tremendous weariness. The way is the Way ahead. Ahead to a new destination. That destination is on the edge of yourself. On the edge of the world. That destination is the way home.

Yes, though I walk through the valley of the shadow, I will fear no evil, for You are with me. (Psalm 23:4)

Henk De Velde

I find myself disagreeing with Henk on this. I don't believe fear is a useful arm for battle. I believe it is a useful arm for survival, and for protecting others and ourselves, but is that the battle.

If we are on our way home and must earn the way by the scars we sport, then I want my journey to culminate in going over the edge. Fear will never let me do it. I believe readiness, respect and confidence will bring us to this home but I would call readiness willingness. I would define confidence as an acknowledgement that consequences must come from such a journey and an acceptance of them. Respect I should leave as is.

but I suppose I am just fucked as I've always suspected.